Life After Divorce

What if I told you that you could move past your divorce and really heal your heart in a few simple steps?  Sounds amazing right? Well, you can do it because I did it. Now, don't let me mislead you… these steps are simple… but they are not easy. Let's face it, if it were easy, you would have already done it, right?

Take it from me… I am somewhat of a professional divorce survivor. But I have been able to do more than survive, I have learned to thrive in all areas of my life, because I have found true healing. After much reflection, and many mistakes, I can now see the processes that worked to move me forward and the things that brought real healing. And I just need to share it.

It breaks my heart to see you and so many other hurting people that are stuck in heartbreak, insecurity, fear and other strongholds that keep you from living a life marked by wholeness, purpose, and joy. Now, don't get me wrong here… it isn't like I did everything right. I am by no means a divorce surviving over-achiever. Quite the contrary. I have probably made just about every mistake one can make. But I was blessed with a lot of help (including the professional kind) and have had some life lessons burned into my soul along the way. These steps brought me to this place.

The problem is, while the steps may be simple… meaning that they are simple concepts that you have heard of many times… but they are not easy. If they are simple, why don't we do them by default? Often, we just don't want to take the time to do it, or we avoid them because they can be difficult. And there are also a ton of well-meaning friends and family who give us some really bad advice, even when they are trying to help. Any of these sound familiar to you?

"You just need to get back up on that horse… put yourself out there and start dating again! Love will heal your broken heart."

"You just need to find the right person… that will make all the difference. That one was just a jerk-face."

 "Time heals all wounds. You'll be fine."

These can be frustrating pieces of advice because, while there is some truth in each of these things, it just isn't that simple. I'll prove it to you… we all know that person who goes from relationship to relationship and nothing seems to work. Their relationships continue to be dysfunctional, repeating the same patterns over and over. Did love heal their wounds? No. Was it that no one out there was the right person? Also no.  We also know people who have been alone for a long time and instead of healing, they have embraced bitterness, insecurity, depression, anxiety, isolation… clearly time did not heal their hurt and brokenness.

The best piece of advice I can possibly give you is to draw near to Jesus… the One who wants to work with you to heal your broken and bruised heart. The One who draws near to you and hides you in the shelter of His mighty wings. The One who traveled on mission to make the unseen feel seen, make the lame walk and make the blind see. Interestingly, Jesus often asked people some very pointed questions before He healed them. He would ask questions like, "what do you want me to do for you?"  That tells me that He wants us to participate in our healing. He will not overstep into our lives without an invitation.

Now, if you are not a Jesus follower, I don't want to lose you. I am not here to preach to you; make you feel badly about yourself or show you where you have gone wrong. That is not what this is at all. This is about finding grace, help, hope, and the actionable steps that get you to the healing part. We are going to deal with pain, anger, sadness, loneliness, and forgiveness. We are going to uncover some amazing things about you that you may have lost or put on hold that can flourish again. We are going to cast a vision for your future to bring joy and purpose into full view.

So, come with me on this journey of actively participating in your healing. We will spend a little time journaling together, peppered with a whole bunch of encouragement from me. My prayer for you is that you will feel seen, you will not feel alone, and you will find the keys to unlocking a life of joy that you think divorce has slammed the door on for you.

 Let's go Sister… let's step into LIFE after divorce.